Washing Machine- Inspired by Melissa

I know it's hard to believe
The things that inspire me
But read closely and you will see
What I mean by true beauty

Dear washing machine how I love you so
You never complain if my underwear shows
You just take it with pride and clean it with Tide
It's amazing, when they are ready, you know

Whether I stuff you full with sweats and jeans
Or just throw in a shirt I need cleaned
You swing your phallus back and forth
And never jostle more than it's worth

Swishing back and forth you work so steady
It doesnt matter if my clothes are all muddy
When you are done then I know its time
To give the dryer my clothes minus the slime

Once in a great while I notice you struggle
After placing ALL my clothes in you like a puzzle
But yet again you surprise me with your power
Sloshing them around until clean within the hour

I'm so glad your are not the stackable kind
I cant imagine you working while being so confined.
Large and white you stand alone with pride
Queitly waiting for colors and whites which I divide

But there is more to you than meets the eye
I've made plans specifically with you in mind.
I'll remind you but you must promise not to tell
What you experienced not unlike a hotel

But unlike a bed that needs quarters to shake
I just turn your knob and BAM your awake
The vibrations alone give my women chills
The spin cycle at it's fastest they find quite the thrill

One time only have you called in sick
I had to call the repairman when I tried to wash a brick
But I'll take the blame becuase that was not smart
Never again will I tear your insides apart

So thank you my saviour and cleaner of clothes
If you were not here I would be filled with sorrow
You inspire me to wash day and night
My lovable washing machine,  yes.. thats right.