Floater

I woke up this morning after a good nights sleep
Normally I would yawn and stretch from my head to my feet
But this morning I had some issues and my mind was reeling
Because I opened my eyes and my nose was up against the ceiling

What on earth could possibly be the cause
Why am I on my ceiling and then I paused
This can't be happening I must be in a dream
So I closed my eyes and then I slept or so it seemed

It couldnt have been more than 10 seconds later
I opened my eyes again and what I saw wasnt any greater
This time I seemed to be laying on nothing suspended in air
With all of my pets drifting around without any cares

Unusual at it may seem I concluded very quickly
That there seemed to be a lack of conclusive gravity
Remembering fizzy lifting drinks I decided to give it a whirl
I began swimming in my home and giggling like a girl

I did a backstroke to the window in the hall
Looking out and I saw nothing at all
My car wasnt there and the street was bare
I could only surmise everything was floating in the air.

I put my finger to my temple and tapped a couple times
Thinking what should I do and what obstacles must I climb
I decided that if nothing is on the ground
Then leaving my home is certainly out of bounds

I made my way to the kitchen propelled with my feet
Looking for the phone and maybe something to eat
The fridge was suspended anchored by it's plug
The phone anochored as well by it's base looking very smug

The phone still worked to my surprise and delight
Maybe I could find out what happened last night
I dialed 911 as taught when I was young
Busy signal came through and nasty words on my tongue

Panic set in and I had no where to turn
Emotions flailing like wildfire looking for something to burn
After a while I was exhausted and drained
With still no idea how life would ever be the same

A light bulb suddenly went on in my head
The television would show me, unless everyone was dead
So I swam on over to the floating plasma with ease
Turned it on and I got weak in the knees

How this happened with no weight upon them I do not know
But weak they were after I watched the local news show
A monumental shift deep within earth's core
Caused by man's greed for power and drills off the shore

As the newswoman drifted in and out of sight
She explained this was a temporary plight
Given the facts and the physics of nature
In 24 hours we would be through with this venture

Stay in your homes and dont go outside
Lest you drift away and lose more than your pride
So inside I stayed as I waited to fall
Back down to earth to heed nature's call

I couldnt do it now as I had nowhere to pee
So I held it in and watched a dvd
That's my story and I know it's true
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