Lessons Learned

I remember the way
you touched my skin
With love and care
Begging for sin

I remember the look
of fire in your eyes
Loving the feeling
of our passionate nights

I remember your voice
Trembling with love
Speaking your heart
And what you've dreamt of

I remember the comfort
of lying beside you
Wrapped in my arms
Nothing better would do

I remember the aches
I remember the pain
I remember the hurt
I remember.. again and again

But what I remember most
Is something that cannot be lost

I remember the lessons to me you taught
Of how to love and to open my heart.

Walking By

She walks by slowly staring straight ahead
Long purposeful steps knowing where to go
Her hair flows behind her as she picks up the pace
Causing a ripple of energy I can feel heating my face

Her dress reveals a body that can rock my world
Her smile makes me float and frees my soul
The confidence she has lights my way
The men left in her wake for me they pray.

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling....

The facade of happiness wont last long
The loss that you feel will come on strong
Realizing that you gave up what could have been
To have rejected your heart by not letting me in

I have learned this lesson and now I understand
What is needed to supplement this realized man
I need to grow into myself, I need to look at me
I need to make this the place I want to be

I live alone and sometimes get sad
I live alone and sometimes get mad
I have tried to find the woman for me
I'm not going to look anymore, Ill just let it be.

Rejection is part of life and I've had it enough
I don't want to be discarded like a ball lost in the rough.
Maybe I should close myself off and live within my mind
Maybe I should forget about the woman I was trying to find.

Close my heart and get my life back in shape
Exercise my body and let my brain vacate
Stop trying to be happy whilst the midst of pain
Gather my spirits and drink til they all taste the same

Time will heal, so they say,  cliche at it's best
I don't think I will heal, like a wave with no crest
I'll keep on rolling until I reach the shore
It will be a long time til I break, of that I am sure

I have felt the pain we all try to avoid
Loneliness and rejection, boredom and annoyed
But this is my life, alone with little hope
Not wanting to deal with more than I can cope

Pain and Loss

Do you want to hear of my pain?
Do you want to suffer my shame?
Do I need to lose your love?
Did I have to love in vain?

I would not wish this gut-wrenching pain
On any soul that has felt the sun-soaked rain
To have loved a woman that severed
my spine
To have lost a woman that I thought
was mine

Weathered and tired I sleep
Never able dream I weep
For my dreams have been washed away
Along with the hope that any love shall stay

It's pitiful and sad I know it's true
But pain is best written when the soul is blue
Expressing the thoughts that swirled my head
Realizing she would no longer be in my bed.

I can only hope that she knows I tried
To be the man that would have never lied
Nor cheated, nor lashed out with my tongue
No fists, or neglect, just compassion warmed by the sun.

Past Imprints Shall Not Determine the Future

I'm a victim of mine own actions
Sticking mine hand into the hollow tree
It gets bitten and mine madness ensues
Clutching at thoughts unrelenting

The insanity of the unknown
The frivolity of the past
The anticipation of the future
The discourse through which I wade

Summon mine will upon thy dreams
Ensure mine presence entices thee
Thou shalt question the reasoning of thus
Until thou wakes with answers surplus

Upon our lives we imprint the past
Forever staining the deeds gone by
Open to embrace the changes I've gone
Mine future is secured by the love of thou

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentines Day to all my friends
To all that have loved ones til our peaceful end
They will cherish the love you give with happiness and joyous tears
They will harness your heart's warmth that melts their subtle fears

Today is a day that we do not need
For true love is given and does not require feed
Just treasure what you have and hold each other close
Talk softly and passionately with words verbose

The phenomenon of love is a rare find indeed
The karma of love will come around and breed
With virtuosity and courage we give our hearts
To those we love and to death do us part.

Forty Years

Forty years gone by

Countless tears in my eyes

Wondering what has become

Of my confidence to be "the one"

Sitting in the bitter cold

Appropriate for this man of old

Feeling hopeful that the warmth will bring

A blossoming of the heart come this Spring

I can hear the voices in my head

Clear as day, strong as silken thread

"Be yourself",  they say in my sleepless wake

"She will find you and give you her heart to take"

So bold is her beauty

So soft is her voice

So smooth is her skin

So wise is her choice

She can see where my true heart lies

She can release love that will never die

She just needs to reach out and hold my hand

She just needs to let me in so I can understand

 

O'Brien's XXII

So the day is here
It's perfectly clear
The only choice
Is to hear my voice

O'Brien's in Lynn
The city of sin
Will rock your world
And steal your soul

Fred will scream
Into the mic's metal screen
To take you away
To a world of play

Off the cross comes Christ
To help restrain my vice
But it will take more than God
To restrain women from this bod.

I jest with all and I help with life
I entertain your friends and sometimes your wife
Help welcome me into my 4th decade
With beers and laughs and a musical parade.

Goodbye

To say goodbye I find it hard
I wish my thoughts weren't so charred
Burned and scored like my heart
Trying to figure out why we are apart

What's Next

Life's not horrible but something is wrong
I can't seem to pinpoint exactly what it is
Suddenly I feel so alone
But nothing has changed and the bitterness has grown.

I can't tell if women find me attractive
I don't how to approach with confidence
This may seem silly because of who I am
But I only know how to be friends to them

I wish for once a woman would tell me the truth
I can't tell the future I'm not a sayer of sooth.
There are some women that I want to date
To find a connection and maybe my soul-mate

But I am hesitant to ask the lady friends of mine
I can't risk losing more friends this time
I don't want them to be uneasy when I'm near
Because I expressed an interest or bought her a beer.

I hear that I'm really sweet and I'm really nice
That I'm great kisser and I've heard it more than twice
So why do women avoid me like the plague
I can't be that ugly or I wouldn't have been given phone numbers to take.

People enjoy being around me and I know this is true
Is it possible that I have no sex appeal to women like you?
Rejection is a form of failure and that I cannot bear
So I don't ask unless I think my chances are fair.

I can read body language and I can tell who likes me
I can read the signs but despite that I don't take the opportunity.
I could be wrong and these women just might like me as a friend.
But that's why I don't open my mouth because a friend would mean more to me in the end

Unless of course this woman would become my wife
Then I've thrown away a chance for a happy life.
The choices I make and the roads I choose
Conflict with my everything from my hat to my shoes.

I just wish a woman would tell me
That she is interested and not wait for my pleas
Or if I do ask her out I want her to show
A little effort or a "lean in" and then I'll know.

And if she does not want me to pursue her affection
I need to know so I'm not in the dark with intentions
Send me on my way and we can still be friends
And I can give another woman the proper attention.

Complexity

Have you ever felt like you've been thrown
Into a place that you have never known
Dropped from a plane into a vast new place
Realizing that you are here to learn your place

I've been dropped and now I'm lost
I'll try to figure it out, no matter the cost
I'll take my chances and I'll take the risk
I don't want this oppurtunity to be missed

I've been here before and I made it through
I discovered things about me I never knew
The knowledge I've gained will help this time
To make sure I don't commit the same crime

How can I express what I'm bound to feel
When I'm close to a woman I know is real
She caught my eye when I first saw her face
She caught my attenion when I felt her embrace

She is full of life and bursting with fire
Exotically erotic with a passion I admire
She exudes pheromones like none I've smelt
She makes me feel like I've never felt

Her skin is soft and her voice is sweet
Her eyes penetrate me like a skewer through meat
I cant stop thinking of the look in her eyes
When she looks at me, I shiver without disguise

I believe she knows that she fills my heart
I know that she wants a brand new start
I'll do my best to show her the way
I'll lead her forward through this complicate intricate maze.

It will take some time to find the path
It will require patience to make this last
Slowly we will learn what we need
To manuever the trails to fulfull this deed

A labyrinth of emotions will come and go
Confusion and unknowing what the future shows.
If only it could happen like we want it to
Destiny is only a word it's not something we can prove

Help Me Understand

Ill tell you anything you want to know
I'll unfold my life blow by blow
But this means that you are next
To explain to me certain concepts

I make guesses with the info you give
I try to understand what you have lived
But without the knowledge that you left out
I'm standing here not knowing what you're about

I'm not going anywhere, I'm here to stay
I'm going to figure this out day by day
I'll make mistakes and you'll get upset
I'll say I'm sorry, forgive and forget

You know me enough to know I care
You can see my honesty with you I share
Don't shut me out if I say the wrong thing
Right my wrong and heal that which stings

Hurting you is never what I wish to do
I want to hold you close the whole night through
Kissing your neck and kissing your lips
Saying I care and hoping for some tips

Trust me when I say I want to believe
That you are going to be the one for me
Side by side we will walk hand in hand
Helping each other through good times and bad

I'll open my heart to you I swear
I know already how much you care
Forgive me if I'm slow to wake
It's a wall through which I will break.

I Love You

The months went by and the weeks passed quick
The days went slowly the hours were thick
Until I found a woman from long ago
A beauty to behold, an angel I had to know

She consumes my brain day after day
She lives in my world and here she will stay
I've been looking all of my life for a woman like this
To rescue me from life's haunting abyss

I don't know what I did to deserve this fate
To be with a woman for which my heart aches
She makes me happy and fills my heart
She heals my soul even when we're apart

It's been a while since I could say these words
Words that change lives and soar like the birds
Words that empower my being flying like a dove
These words I say, Baby, It's you that I love!

Trapped With Crap

He says he loves you

Yet treats you like crap

He says he loves you 

Yet your home is a trap

You can't go out 

To spend time with your friends

To have a couple drinks

To forget what's in your head

I can't express

How upset I am

That you won't discuss

Me being your man

I've shown you my heart

I've shown you my love

I've opened doors for you

That have been closed, bolted shut.

Explain

Tell me I'm selfish
Tell me I'm mean
Tell me to go away
But tell me something please!

I have no idea what's in your head
I have no idea what I should do
I need information to make sense of this
I'm falling into a deep abyss

I know you have pain to deal with
I know your thoughts are confused
I know there are issues to handle
But why am I here? What can I do?

Trust that I care
About how you feel
Trust I wouldn't hurt you
Your distrust makes me reel

Have I ever lied?
Have I ever deceived?
Haven't I always been truthful?
Haven't I been willing to give and to receive?

Explain your doubts
Explain your fears
Explain what I can do
For you I've always been here

Don't pull us apart

Trust my sincerity

Know my heart

Believe what I say

Don't pull us apart

I don't lie

I'm not conniving

I've been nothing but honest

Don't pull us apart

Don't find reasons to stay away

Don't assume the worst with a glance

Talk to me and hear what I say

Don't pull us apart

Have I ever been deceitful?

Have I ever lied?

Why do you distrust me?

Don't pull us apart

I've explained this before

I thought you understood

Communication will keep us together

Don't pull us apart

You know how I feel

Yet you don't believe what I say

I want to make this work

Don't pull us apart

I've tried so hard 

I've opened my heart

I've been patient and supportive

Don't pull us apart

I cant express the frustration I feel

Not being able to explain the deal

I can't continue to tread on this icy sheet

If you try to help it melt under my feet

If you don't want me then please tell me so

Do you want me to give up and let you go?

This isn't easy for you and it's not easy for me

But it's not going to work if you wont talk to me.

Maybe I'm Not The One

My stomach is in knots
And I don't know why
I cant suppress my thoughts
My brain spins awry

I can't explain how my heart throbs
Knowing I can't be with her
Every night to comfort her sobs

She sobs not for me but for the pain she is in
Inside and out she hurts, I'm desperate to solve her woes
But in order for me to help her out
She needs to open the doors and let me in

She said she loved me first in a moment of passion
But again and again the words were uttered with action
The power of love consumes the heart and brain
Maybe I'm not the one to solve her pain.

O'Briens XXI

Through the snow we will plow
To a bar in Lynn if you allow
To share a drink and sing a song
To laugh with friends that came along

With Fred on the Mic
And Joe on the drums
With the heat turned up
Takin the stage and stepping up

I hope you all we make the trip
The more the merrier in this winters nip
Thursday night is our night to shine
Til they boot us out and take our wine.